


Hesitant

by Usagi_Mitsu



Series: FINAL FANTASY XIV Shorts [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Anger, Discussion, FINAL FANTASY XIV: Shadowbringers Trailer, FINAL FANTSY XIV: Shadowbringers, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 13:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19251745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usagi_Mitsu/pseuds/Usagi_Mitsu
Summary: Following their encounter with Vauthry, the Warrior of Light has a few things on their mind.Please be aware: There are spoilers for the story of FINAL FANTASY XIV up to Patch 4.56 included!





	Hesitant

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear reader,
> 
> this is a rather short one shot which I wrote a day after watching the FINAL FANTASY XIV: Shadowbringers launch trailer. It's based on the vibes I got from the scene with Alphinaud holding the Warrior of Light back and all the things Vauthry said.  
> This has nothing to do with how the scene may take place in the game and is purely based on my thoughts following the trailer. 
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoy the read!
> 
> All the love
> 
> Usagi
> 
> Please be aware: There are spoilers for the story of FINAL FANTASY XIV up to Patch 4.56 included!

Alphinaud was rambling on and on about something. I couldn’t make out what he was actually saying. My head felt like it was about to explode. Rubbing my eyes didn’t make it any better. All that happened was, that I was now seeing stars instead of the sepia coloured city around us. 

I didn’t mind though.  Eulmore  was not a pretty city. Not at all like  Limsa Lominsa . And it couldn’t hold a candle to the beautifully constructed  Ishgard . Furthermore,  Eulmore  and all its surrounding landscapes were tinted in a washed out sepia hue, almost looking like a vivid painting somebody had left in the sun for too long. 

Which was probably what was happening: The world seemed to fade. Just like paint in the sun.

“… and then we need to get the others and\- are you even listening?”

Alphinaud had finally stopped talking. I shook my head gently and started rubbing my temples. 

“I try listening to you, but all I hear is acousticnoise.”

He smiled weakly, “I get it. I felt just the same when I first arrived here. But don’t worry about it. It will be over soon. You just need to adjust to your new surroundings.”

“Do I though? Why don’t we just go home,” I heard myself say. 

“Go home?” There was shock in his voice. “Why would you want to go home? By the twelve, you only just got here! And these people need us to reinstate balance-”

My voice cut him off halfway through his sentence.

“They do not want our help!  Alphinaud !” My face was burning. “These people have accepted that their world is doomed! They have gotten comfortable with it! By the twelve, the wealthy even sacrifice the poor to keep this cruel regime going! They are sacrificing people alive! Haven’t you heard the fat guy?!” 

I was shaking, my hands balled to fists. In this very moment, all the pent-up rage and anger was finally breaking through. The fury ignited by being in a world that I didn’t belong in, the feeling of helplessness in the face of what was to come and the fear for everyone I had left behind on Hydaelin. 

“... I … uhm …"

“If they want to go down with their sinking ship, let them,” I was almost yelling, “but don’t drag me into this pointless fight! Don’t let yourself get dragged into it! Do you think they care if we die fighting their battles? Wake up, boy! Sacrificing yourself for a doomed world is neither heroic nor will it do anything for these people!”

I took a sharp breath and finally I felt hot, angry tears stream down my face. 

“ Alphinaud  … I need to get home,” my voice was cracking, “there are people waiting for me. For us. There is a war raging on and I am worried for each and all of them: Kann-E-san, the Admiral, Raubahn, Ser Aymeric, Lucia, Lyse, Hien, Yugiri … and all the other nameless people fighting to protect  Eorzea . And don’t you remember?  Elidibus  has possessed Zenos’ corpse, posing as the crown prince. And did you have a chance to talk to  Alisaie ? Do you know, that the  Ascians  founded  Garlemald ? Do you remember that the emperor wants to use toxic gas in the war? We need to go home now. I … I am afraid …" and the words seemed to escape me.

I couldn’t look at him anymore and turned my gaze to the side. My body was stiff and my fists shaking with the barely contained need to punsh something. 

“I need to go home … I need to make it better. That’s what the Warrior of Light does. That’s what I do …"

The almost static noise was still filling my ears and it was hard to make out any of the surrounding sounds. It was maddening.

I almost jumped when careful hand was placed on my shoulder. Turning my head back, my eyes met the worried gaze of the target of my rage.

“You have been holding this in for for quite some time, haven’t you,”  Alphinaud  quietly stated. It wasn’t a question, but a fact. “I’m so sorry for pushing you, when you still needed time. And I have been pushing you a lot lately. You never ask us for anything, all the while we made you shoulder the hopes and burdens of half a dozen nations.” His words echoed the last  ones  Ser Aymeric had spoken to me, after I had awoken in  Ishgard .  Alphinaud  had truly learned a lot from him. 

“But I need you to stay strong. If not for the sake of these people or even yourself, please do it for me.” His azure eyes seemed to almost glow. “I cannot do this without you. And I need to do this. I need to save this world. Because if we cannot, how could there be hope for ours?”

“This is the first time in a long  long  while that you have been truly honest with me,” I whispered. “I can fight. I might even win. But for what price? I cannot- no,” I strengthened my voice, “I am not going to lose any more of my friends. Because if I have to watch even one more of you die …"

_Tell  him_ _,_  a tiny voice inside my head whispered, tell him now. 

I cleared my throat, all the while he looked at me expectantly. 

“If I have to see even one more of you die, I might stop thinking clearly. I am afraid, that it might finally send me over the edge. No more plans, no more good intentions. Just my rage. My anger. My sorrow. And I will make those responsible suffer. And those blocking my path with good intentions, plans or strategies might pay the price.”

Now it was my turn to put my hands on his shoulders. They were still shaking.

“ Y’Shtola ,  Urianger ,  Tataru ,  Kryle ,  Alisaie , you and even that bullhead  Thancred . Maybe even  Minfillia . You are my family. The only family that I have left. And the thought of losing you frightens me. I … I can be strong. I will be strong for you. But I need you all to promise to stay alive no matter what. Do you hear me,” and my determined eyes met his surprised  gaze.

“But I cannot promise-”

“I am not asking, whether you can,  Alphinaud . I am asking you to promise me, to stay the fuck alive. If you won’t promise me that, I will find a way home. Right this very moment. Do you hear me?”

He was silent for a moment. His eyes were searching my face, looking for any sign that I might not mean it. Or that I was joking. 

Whatever it was, he seemingly didn’t find it. After a few seconds he sighed. 

“Alright, I promise.”

“You promise … what?”

“I promise that I will do whatever there is in my power, to stay alive. Or to at least ensure, that you won’t have to see me die.”

The corners of my mouth twitched. “That is not exactly what I asked you to promise.”

“It is all that I can do: try.”

I took my hands back and straightened my back. 

“I know,  Alphi . And I know, that asking this is a lot. But … I have seen too many friends die. It’s been.Too.Many. And there is a nagging feeling inside me, that refuses to let all of you die for this ungrateful place and its disturbingly calm people,” I pulled my right hand out of my gauntlet to wipe the tears off my face. “ Moenbryda ,  Ysayle ,  Papalymo , …” I gulped down the guilt, slowly rising in my throat, threatening my resolve, “...  Haurchefant . And all those times when I though the others lost. When  Alisaie  lay there dying in  Ishgard . When we fled  Uld’ah  and didn’t know about the fate of our friends.”

Alphinaud  slowly rose up, too. 

“I remember all those times. But you know,” and a warm smile spread on his face, “all those times, we were together. Neither of us was ever truly alone. And that I can promise you: We will always be there. We will always be together.” He nodded. “And I am grateful for knowing you by my side.”

“I admire your optimism. But yes, we were together most of the time. Therefore,” and I gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder, “don’t you dare leave my sight, alright?”

He stumbled a bit, but caught himself quickly, “I wouldn’t dare denying the Warrior of Light the one request they ever uttered, would I?”

And we both laughed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. If you wish to leave a comment, please feel free to do so. <3


End file.
